


Starry eyes, Blurry eyes

by emcees



Series: not quite yet, just a little more [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, lots of other cameos from other characters, robb/brienne is one sided, same universe as just got (not quite yet) married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 10:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20965427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emcees/pseuds/emcees
Summary: Sansa pines after Podrick. She's making it work.





	Starry eyes, Blurry eyes

**Author's Note:**

> i have been writing this fic for weeks, stopped and wrote it again. I really just wanted to finish it to move on to my other fics that I have 0 time to write. *crying emoji*

Sansa doesn't want to blame anyone because if she does, it will be Arya, who will probably blame Robb, who will blame their mother, who will blame Brienne and Arya will say something about this isn't anyone's fault other than yours! You're the one who had a crush on Brienne's adopted son!  
  
Which is, you know, fair.  
  
It's just -- Pod is so... Pod, if that makes sense. He's quiet, gentle and soft but has a protective steak that can run for miles. He's good with kids, he's smart, he can sing well and he has the kind of smile that lights up the room and it doesn't hurt that he has biceps that are so... thick. Margaery once joked that he drinks feminism juice every morning and he probably does, considering on how Sansa witnessed Podrick having a debate about women's right in a frat party.  
  
Podrick Tarth is not perfect, no, Sansa is aware of his imperfections. He's absent-minded, most of the time; he thinks Bronn is a good company to keep; he snores when he falls asleep and he likes burping in places one shouldn't burp and he's just a Podrick!  
  
And Sansa has a crush on him.  
  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
  
"I mean..." Margaery gives Podrick a once-over with a sly smirk on her face. "He does look good."  
  
And Podrick does. The tuxedo that he's wearing fits him and it showcases his biceps, thighs and legs perfectly. He doesn't look like he's comfortable about wearing a tux, though, as he keeps fiddling the cufflinks until Jaime swats his hand and gives him a shake.  
  
"He's mine." Sansa declares and that's -- "not mine mine but --"  
  
"I got you." Margaery chuckles lightly. "Don't worry, I won't steal him from you. I kissed him one time and you start acting like I'm gonna mother his children."  
  
"Margaery!" She hisses.  
  
She just continues chuckling, though.  
  
Sansa feels really bad of feeling jealous. Margaery kissed Pod in the cheek to tease her, it's not Podrick's fault and it's not like he is hers to begin with, for her to feel jealous in the first place. That last thought really made her sad a bit.  
  
She knows girls can make the first move so they can date the people they like. She's not against that tactic, if she knew it will work. Jaime once told them that Pod is like Brienne, dense as a rock when it comes to the matters of the heart. Sansa is almost sure if she asks Pod to take her out, he'll ask, where? And not take it like a date.  
  
There's also an issue of her doing the first move. She did that, before. With Joffrey. With Ramsay. And they all turned out to be terrible people. She knows Podrick is not like them, Brienne wouldn't let him and Jaime seems to be a good influence, too and Podrick, at his very core, is a good person to begin with. The fear is on her, not on Pod. There's always another way to hurt somebody, you don't have to be a terrible person to do it.  
  
"We're starting!" Selwyn, Brienne's father, announces excitedly.  
  
It blinks her back to reality and realises that she's been staring at Pod the whole time. And suddenly feels bad that she's thinking of her feelings when its Brienne's wedding with the love of her life.  
  
"Wipe the drool on your face, Sansa." Margaery comments as she grabs her elbow and leads her to a seat.  
  
Sansa blushes.  
  
The ceremony is beautiful. Podrick is the ring-bearer and Tata, the dog, is the flower girl, with the help of Arya. Brienne walks down the aisle with Selwyn accompanying her until they reach Jaime where Jaime hugs his father-in-law. Her mother sniffles besides her and Bran is openly crying. And then, the vows.  
  
"Brienne, what do I say? I knew I had to recite a wedding vow but when I tried to write, I couldn't. I was tempted to ask Tyrion for help but it didn't seem right for someone else to help me say my feelings to you. I'm an author, too, for Gods' sake. Let's just start in the beginning: we met when we were kids. You had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen and I just knew you had to be in my life. I decided that you had to be my wife when I was nine. You didn't believe me when I told you you were my girlfriend and I had to woo you like a thirteen year old could; stolen flowers from Olenna's garden and books that I stole from Tyrion--"  
  
"--I knew it was you!" Tyrion's voice rings in the hall and everyone laughs.  
  
Jaime winks at his brother and looks at Brienne again. Sansa swears she can see hearts in them. "You never wanted to tell everyone we were together because you didn't want to explain our relationship and it was easy to be in a bubble. But I'm telling you this, I have never been ashamed of you. I would have shouted our love to the rooftops, make it a billboard, tell it to Catelyn's face that I'm with the most beautiful person I know. Brienne, I love you. With you, I always feel like it's Spring. And because of you, I knew what it feels like to have flowers blooming in your chest."  
  
Flowers blooming in your chest. Sansa's eyes catch Podrick's figure where his shoulders are shaking and Selwyn is rubbing his back.  
  
Butterflies in the stomach is what Sansa felt for Ramsay and Joffrey and now, she knew those are warnings that they're not good for her. But Podrick... Sansa feels like she knows what Jaime is talking about. Flowers bloom quietly, slowly, without knowing, until one will realise they grew into something beautiful.  
  
Podrick is the flowers in Sansa's chest.  
  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
The reception has more crying and laughter.  
  
Tyrion has a speech with equal funny parts and parts that makes the guests cry. There are lines that alludes to what they went through with the hands of their family and she wonders how they survive that. Jaime and Brienne play the shoe-game and then they play games with the guests, too. There's the cake cutting where Jaime swipes a icing on Brienne's lips and kisses her with enthusiasm. The first dance of husband and wife happens and everyone starts crying again.  
  
She cries herself.  
  
And when everything calms down, she sees Podrick in one of the tables, smiling at his parents. He turns his head a bit and catches Sansa's eyes. She has every intention of turning away but in this light, Podrick's brown eyes look so magical. He breaks their eye-contact by whispering something in Selwyn's ear, who looks at Sansa and smiles, nods at Podrick and Podrick stands up to walk towards her.  
  
Sansa wants to panic.  
  
Podrick offers his hand when he reaches her. "Would you like to dance?"  
  
Sansa can hear Arya snorting while Bran just says, "Yes. She wants to dance. Please."  
  
"Of course." She smiles at Podrick but when she stands up, she glares at Bran. She turns her head again and Podrick puts his hands above her waist. She murmurs. "You can go lower."  
  
Podrick's eyes widen. "Um."  
  
"Nevermind." She replies hastily. "It's a beautiful wedding." She blurts out to change the topic.  
  
Podrick relaxes. "Yes, it is." He looks at Jaime and Brienne dancing and wrap with each other. "I'm glad, really. I've never seen anyone more in love than they are."  
  
"Do you..." she clears her throat as they sway to the music. "Do you want to have that?"  
  
He looks at her. "Who wouldn't? Love like that don't come twice."  
  
Sansa swallows the lump in her throat. They continue to sway with the music and Podrick's hands wrap around her feels warmer. "I thought I felt that, you know. The love they have."  
  
Podrick's face soften and he turns her around and makes her land gently on his chest. "That wasn't your fault."  
  
Podrick would know; he punched Ramsay in the face, himself. Brienne ripped him a new one, told her son violence isn't the answer but hugged him in the end, anyway, and thanked him for protecting the daughter of her friend.  
  
"It just seems so easy for them. They met the love of their lives early in life meanwhile we have to wait and suffer." She says bitterly.  
  
"I don't... I don't think they have it easy." He subconsciously pats Sansa's waist. "They're still together now because they make it work. Everyday. They wake up, working that relationship and love they have and sleep the same way." He gives Sansa a smile that makes her heart hurt, in a good way. "If you want something to grow strong and last, you have to work hard to achieve it."  
  
Sansa thinks fuck it and hugs Podrick and buries her face against his neck.  
  
"Uh --"  
  
She nuzzles his neck and breathes in. "You smell good."  
  
He grows stiff a bit but still sways her gently. "And you're beautiful." He whispers in her ear.  
  
Sansa tightens her hold.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
After dancing with her, he dances with Arya, Margaery, Brienne and Olenna, of all people. He probably had too much wine because he has loosen up, a bit. He smiles a lot, laughs hard, sings a song and cries after. Podrick hugs Brienne and Jaime and call them the best parents an adoptive son could ask for.  
  
Sansa watches him, thinks of the love she sees -- Brienne and Jaime, her parents, Loras and Renly -- and thinks of herself. She knows she deserves that, and for her to achieve that, she needs to take a risk. Like, how her mother took a chance on her dad and they're still in love. She's not saying Podrick is the one but she wouldn't know unless she tries.  
  
Her mother probably senses what she's thinking because she holds Sansa's hand and says, "Have faith."  
  
Before leaving the reception, she asks Podrick's number. He gives it to her, smiling. She kisses his cheek and hugs him one last time and runs away while waving.  
  
She enters the family car and everyone is looking at her.  
  
"What?" She asks.  
  
"Are you pulling a Robb?" Bran asks.  
  
"A Robb?" Sansa demands.  
  
"Did you just make my name an adjective, Bran?"  
  
"A Robb," Jon says. "Is when someone pines for a long time and thinks that's wooing."  
  
Robb glares at his cousin. "When I met Brienne, she was already in a relationship with someone. I couldn't make a move on her because I respect that relationship."  
  
"You did thought they might break up." Arya points out.  
  
"Enough." Their father announces. "Sansa is not pulling a... Robb or whatever you just said. And Robb, move on. You just watched her get married."  
  
Robb stays silent and looks out the window.  
  
"I don't think you'll be pulling a Robb." Rickon whispers to Sansa. "I think you might pull a Jaime, though."  
  
And Sansa blushes.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
Jaime and Brienne went to their honeymoon but they took Podrick with them. Her mother informs her, innocently, about this but Sansa knows better. She's her mother's daughter.  
  
Sansa texts Podrick a simple hi after a week she took his number. And that's only because Arya threatens her that she will steal her phone and text Pod herself. And Bran tells her, gently, that mooning over a number is a Robb thing to do and she's not Robb.  
  
Bran earned a pillow throw on his person from their brother. He said it was worth it, though.  
  
Podrick texts back two hours after.  
  
Sorry. Signal here is bad. But hi. Sansa?  
  
This is Sansa, yes. She types. Heard you're in vacation.  
  
I am. They took me with them. My uncle is here, too.  
  
Tyrion is there?  
  
The money he won in a bet, apparently is huge that he could take himself here.  
  
"Pod texted you?" Jon asks.  
  
She's in the backyard, and realises that she's smiling.  
  
"Don't tell anyone." She begs.  
  
Jon laughs. "I won't. You didn't make fun of me about Tormund. You won't hear anything from me."  
  
She breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
"Just an advice," Jon says before going inside the house. "When Arya tells you something she thinks you should do, do it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He shrugs. "You'll see."  
  
She texts Arya about what Jon told her. All Arya replies, ask for a thrist trap.  
  
A thrist what?  
  
Oh. I forgot. You're an old lady. And then, Ask him for a selfie.  
  
I won't ask him for a picture!  
  
You'll send one back! Just say you want to check if he's okay!  
  
Sansa doesn't know why she's doing it but she texts Podrick a selfie of herself, and a little hope you're okay!  
  
And Podrick sends a half naked shirt with wet hair and smiling image of himself with Brienne, Jaime and Tyrion in the background.  
  
She screams.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
"He's hot." Asha comments as Sansa snatches her phone back. "Now, I get why he's worth waiting for."  
  
Margaery nods. "He's sweet, too. Gentle, kind. I know his dick is big. I just know it."  
  
"Can we not talk about his..." Sansa's mind short-circuited a bit. "Thing in uni, please. Mom works here!" She hisses.  
  
"You've thought about it." Asha points a pen towards her. "I would think about it, too, to be fair. He's thick. Did you see the biceps?"  
  
"And he has a smile of an angel." Margaery replies, dreamily.  
  
She buries her face in the pile of books in front of her. "He smells really good, too."  
  
Asha and Margaery chuckle. "You got it bad!" They say in unison.  
  
"What do I do?" She pleads, looking up.  
  
"Date him." Asha shrugs.  
  
"If it's that easy, don't you think I would have done it?" She snaps.  
  
"We joke a lot about him being Brienne's son and being dense --"  
  
"-- I don't know how she didn't saw Robb's feelings --"  
  
"-- but he is as dense as he is." Margaery finishes. "And let Robb live, Asha. You asked me if she's single when you saw her in Rickon's birthday."  
  
"Not like you didn't thought of her like that, Marg --"  
  
"Guys!" Sansa exclaims. "Can we focus?"  
  
"We've been focusing." Margaery deadpans. "For like, half a year, and we're still here."  
  
Sansa moans. "Imagine how tired I am."  
  
"Honestly, though, what's the worse that could happen?"  
  
Sansa wants to sarcastically answer that but Asha asks sincerely. "Reject me?"  
  
"And?" Asha asks. "Honestly, you're acting like Robb." She puts a hand up before Sansa can say anything. "I knew he had a crush on Brienne when I saw him around her in Rickon's birthday and that was years ago. I get respecting the relationship but Robb waited around, pined after her, and hoped she'll give him the romantic time of the day. She didn't. But you know what else he could have done, instead of waiting around for someone who will never love him back? Move on. So, you have two choices here: either tell him or move on without him knowing." She winks at Sansa. "I know what I'll choose."  
  
Sansa knows what she would choose, as well.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
The thing about Podrick is that people will know how he ticks ten seconds after you meet him. He's a very predictable person, but still, he surprises you.  
  
She knows Podrick won't be terrible about rejecting her when the times comes and that's the problem. He isn't the type to pretend he likes her but he seems to be the type to overly kind about it and that's even worse.  
  
She can just imagine Podrick apologising for not liking her back, and he will ask if she wants distance from him because that's how he is; a good person and he just wants what's best for everybody.  
  
Sansa wonders if that's what Robb, thought about Brienne. It's harder to hate someone whose only fault is that they just didn't love you back.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
Months after Podrick came back to the honeymoon, she calls Podrick.  
  
She hasn't seen him. She's been busy in university and her on-going text with Podrick seems that he's busy as well. He's also doing a part time job to earn his own money for Brienne's birthday. They hadn't send a selfie after the last time he sent a... thirst trap, according to Arya. And Sansa never felt comfortable of sending any pictures of hers to Podrick, considering how the last time she did, Podrick sent something that made her scream.  
  
It was a casual invitation; want to eat lunch? I'll go to the restaurant you're working at.  
  
And Podrick being Podrick, probably not seeing what that entails, just said, sure! Okay! See you!  
  
By the time she comes, Podrick is already wearing casual clothes and Bronn led them in a booth that's out of earshot.  
  
"If the patrons see him with another girl, it might hurt my business." Bronn answers when Sansa asks why the special treatment.  
  
She stiffens. "What?"  
  
"Pod, here, is one of my best sellers. Clients ask for him to serve them. If they see him with you, they might think he's taken." Bronn raises an eyebrow. "He's not, so I'm capitalizing."  
  
Sansa's tongue tastes bitter on what Bronn said. When he leaves, Sansa gives Pod a look.  
  
"You don't think that's wrong?"  
  
Pod blushes. Blushes. "I am single. And he pays me more when he does things like that and I need the money."  
  
"What if --" Sansa's heart is in her throat. "What if... you'll have someone in your life -- will you --"  
  
"Of course not." Pod shakes his head as he passes Sansa the menu. "What do you want to eat?"  
  
Sansa looks at the menu but her hunger got replace with anger that she tells Pod, "Whatever you want to eat."  
  
"Sansa... are you okay?"  
  
"It's just --" as she looks at Pod, the anger subsides. "I just don't think it's right to use you like that. And I can't believe you're letting it."  
  
Pod looks confused. He slowly puts down the menu. "He pays me more. And I told you why I work here."  
  
"For Brienne."  
  
"Yes. Her birthday is next month. You know what Dad is going to give her? A replica of Oathkeeper." He smiles, a bit, even if he still looks confused. "If I'm going to be at least on that level, I have to work hard. And if Dad is going to give Mom a replica of their favorite sword, you know what she'll give to him on his birthday?" He pauses. "Another replica of their other favorite sword; The Lion's Sun. Or formerly known as --"  
  
"-- Widow's Wail." Sansa finishes for him. Pod has talked about it in passing in their messages but Sansa googled it, to understand Pod more. "What were you thinking of giving Brienne?"  
  
"A necklace with a Ruby stone. The Lannister red, you know? And I'm going to give Dad some Sapphire ones. For Mom's eyes." He ducks his head. "He always going on about it."  
  
Sansa has a flashback on the wedding reception where Jaime drunklenly confess his love for his now-wife's eyes. Even she blushes on how Jaime can be wax-poetic about it.  
  
"He really loves her." She says.  
  
Podrick looks up, then. "He does."  
  
Sansa thinks of Podrick, then, if he will be as poetic when he falls in love, if he'll think of the person he likes the way Sabsa thought of him. And something in Sansa snaps.  
  
Person, she bitterly thinks. Not her.  
  
"Podrick, I am going to tell you something and I want you to be completely honest with me." She watches as Podrick looks worried but nods, anyway. "I like you, Pod."  
  
Podrick blinks. "I like you, too."  
  
Sansa shakes her head. It's now or never. She doesn't want to regret this. She doesn't want to be Robb. "No, I like you. Romantically. The same way Jaime loves Brienne. The same way Arya loves Gendry."  
  
A moment of silence. Then, "That kind of love?"  
  
Sansa nods.  
  
Podrick breathes. "Oh. Oh. Sansa. Me too." He blushes. "I mean, I like you. Like that."  
  
Sansa blushes, too. Seeing Podrick blush makes her think of something else. She wonders, just a tiny bit, about what he would like after --  
  
"Really?" She breathes, realising suddenly Podrick admitted he likes her back.  
  
He hums. Looking anywhere but her. "I've been -- I -- I don't know when it started. All I ever thought of is wanting to protect you. I --"  
  
Sansa stands up and rushes to his side. Podrick looks at her warily, eyes wide, mouth open and cheeks red. She cups his face and kisses him.  
  
Yes, Sansa thinks as she pulls back to watch Podrick blush even more. This is the flower Jaime was talking about.  
  
  
  
#  
  
  
  
"If I didn't knew how long you have been pining over him, I would have had your head for texting your boyfriend in the middle of our study session."  
  
Sansa glares at Margaery as she finishes typing you're going to pick me up? And babe? "We are on break of our study session."  
  
"I know. I just like teasing you." Margaery smirks. "God, that feels so good. I mean, tormenting you about pining for him is good, too, but as a friend, it's better to torment you when you're already dating him."  
  
"I know, right?" Sansa buries her face in her hands and screams, lightly. She looks up, and even she knows she's blushing. "He kissed my forehead the other day. It was the bare minimum and yet I feel like he gave me the world."  
  
Margaery smiles, a genuine one. One that Sansa only sees rarely and she knows the next thing she'll say is true. She pats her hand. "I'm happy for you."  
  
Sansa smiles at Margaery back. Her phone rings and when she looks down, she sees it's Pod asking, I'm on my way now. Would Margaery want a cup of coffee, too?  
  
And I love you.  
  
Sansa wishes she can talk to the Sansa who pined after her boyfriend now, just to tell her that all those times she had to suffer was worth it.


End file.
